Just Invited to a Chinese Wedding…

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  • This topic has 11 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by Avatar photoRay.
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  • #35692
    Avatar photoDarius
    Participant

    A colleague of mine has just invited me to his wedding next week. I’ve only been in China for two weeks so I have no idea what exactly happens at a wedding. Any customs / traditions I should be aware of?

    Thanks for any advice

    #35693
    Avatar photoxiongmao
    Participant

    For a wedding present give money, its usually given in a red envelope.

    There is usually a lot of drinking, with a long reception. As a guest you don’t have really any obligations except the gift. Just enjoy and have fun!

    #35699
    Avatar photoDarius
    Participant

    Is there an average amount you would give, or does that depend on the “status”?

    #35701
    Avatar photoCharlie
    Keymaster

    A colleague of mine has just invited me to his wedding next week. I’ve only been in China for two weeks so I have no idea what exactly happens at a wedding. Any customs / traditions I should be aware of? Thanks for any advice

    Is your colleague a Westerner? I literally just got back to my office from a wedding, the second I’ve been to in the last month, and both were very different. Wear a suit if you have one (surprisingly few people wore suits at the wedding I was just out – wedding formality seems to vary widely in China). As xiongmao said, the red envelope is customary, the amount depends on your relationship with the married party. For something like a coworker I suggest a few hundred kuai.

    #35705
    Avatar photoTrevorTCB
    Participant

    Haha i had the same questions a few years ago too, so what i’ve figured out is, it depends on his job level and the restaurant they will be having the wedding dinner at, the better the restaurant the more you should give to a point, if you have people at work going that work below you, you should give more than they do, but don’t give more than your boss if you find out what they usually give ( can ask people from past weddings, people always know how much people give especially laowai 🙂 ), you always give money in even numbers 2,4,6,8, (for some reason 400 is ok even thought its a 4 )

    if your at the dinner the bride and groom will come around and do a couple shots with you ( 1 each) make sure you return the favour later, if the groom can still stand 🙂 and drink with the parents if they are there. i typically bounce between 600 and 800 for the red envelope (hong bao )

    good luck have fun

    #35706
    Avatar photoCharlie
    Keymaster

    Haha i had the same questions a few years ago too, so what i’ve figured out is, it depends on his job level and the restaurant they will be having the wedding dinner at, the better the restaurant the more you should give to a point, if you have people at work going that work below you, you should give more than they do, but don’t give more than your boss if you find out what they usually give ( can ask people from past weddings, people always know how much people give especially laowai :-) ), you always give money in even numbers 2,4,6,8, (for some reason 400 is ok even thought its a 4 ) if your at the dinner the bride and groom will come around and do a couple shots with you ( 1 each) make sure you return the favour later, if the groom can still stand :-) and drink with the parents if they are there. i typically bounce between 600 and 800 for the red envelope (hong bao ) good luck have fun

    Chinese wedding pro-tips right here! Incredible how much thought goes into giving someone cash as a present in China.

    #35719
    Avatar photoBrendan
    Moderator

    My pro-tip is don’t go, and decide instead how much you’d like to spend on yourself for the day. 400 gets you a handsome cut of steak in a good seat. No contest.

    #35732
    Avatar photoAl the Dead
    Participant

    Nah if its his 1st time he should go. Then he can skip all that cra… ceremonials in favor of something more enjoyable.

    P.S. 400 for steak? Man where do you find such prices? I usually spend 100…

    #35741
    Avatar photoRick in China
    Participant

    If you barely know him (2 weeks?) you should think about how important of a relationship you want to build with him. 800 — if he’s like, deciding your salary, maybe. Otherwise f that, I’d only give more to people I’ve known a long time or are wife’s family members or something. I’d be thinking more like 200 or 400 if he’s just a random dude you just met, depending on venue/relationship status.

    #35742
    Avatar photoDarius
    Participant

    Thanks for the great tips everyone! I’ve only known him for two weeks and in terms of work hierarchy he is below me so I guess I’ll go for about 400, but first I’ll have to ask the others in my office. I was also told that I should be careful and not dress better than the groom.

    #35743
    Avatar photoRick in China
    Participant

    “not dress better than the groom”

    In Chengdu? Then I suggest going in pajamas. 😀

    #35750
    Avatar photoRay
    Participant

    Give the guy a toaster

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